wounded sheep

I must tell you quickly of an incredible story of my shepard. A few days ago we had our first worship session. For those of you who know me, this is something i love. Expressing love to my father through song. (As i am writing this, there is a group singing praises in the living room of the house i'm in... this is so great) As the group was worshiping, I felt a massive oppression. Almost physically, the unwelcomed force was pushing my spirit down into a dark place. I could not move. I sat on the floor in a ball barely able to ask my father for help. Thoughts of anger, hate, and sorrow penetrated my mind. All from the enemy and all destructive. This had to stop... the war in my mind was raging. When i left i shared with a few of my discomfort that evening. I agreed with some, that I would feel that joy again.. but patience was required. Yesterday we had some free time and some of us decided to go to lookout point. The uphill trek was a hard battle, but the view was worth it! Once we got to that point, we hesitantly decided to go farther. But to keep going we had to cross some barbed wire into a field of sheep and poop..mmmm... pleasant. The group started going into a ravine with pokey things and bees, so i conviently stayed behind. On the walk back God caught my attention. With no warning the bright sun broke through the clouds, the grass, trees, and sheep were in perfect position to reveal Gods glory to me through nature. This was a moment I'll cherish forever. Tears began streaming down my face as I realized the Fathers love for me- His underserving child. The flock of sheep ran up the hill towards the sun, but something about this picture was unsettling. Behind the group... in the distance, was a limping lamb trying its best to catch up to the rest. As I witnessed its struggle I identified with its pain and realized i was just like this wounded lamb. God captured my heart at this moment as He assured me He loved me just as much as the other four legged creatures. I walked away feeling the joy of a child accepted in its Fathers loving arms. I have done my own thing for way too long... and as much as He's pleaded my return, I waited until I could wait no longer... and now I was wounded by the world. And after all that He welcomed me back like the prodigal son. Oh, the joy!! I can't express my gratitude. Standing there rejoicing I heard His soft sweet whisper through the wind in the trees... and I'll never be the same.